okay i m feeling crappier and crappier by the minute
i cant even explain this potent mix of ennui and hurt
i feel like i m going mental again
i dont even know whats wrong

i cant be the only one who feels like this right?
omg whats going on
my head hurts.
whats wrong with me

i look around my room
at all the things i have
luxury goods i ve bought but never used
so many
whats the point
omg why did i spend so much buying them in the first place!?

life is a constant cycle of being disappointed
and disappointing others
how does everyone stand up to it

i hate growing up
i dont know whats happening anymore
everyone i love has left me one by one
now all i have left is a pathetic box of mementos
and a major down that catches me unaware at the most inopportune times

this is ridiculous
what drives me to fill this cavern with alcohol
why do i crave human contact so badly
how can i be so happy at times and then so damn low?!

how do i fix this
life is a terrible thing

scary
painful

i feel uncharacteristically fragile tonight