vent

I WANT NEW BB SOO BAD. my emails/twitter/fb are building up and i cant deal because my laptop takes friggin 20 minutes to start up and i dont have time to sit around and wait.

i have migraine. because my life is so faux complicated.
which means it isnt exactly THAT complicated, when i actually think about it. but
ITS MY LIFE OKAY. ITS FEELS UBER COMPLICATED AND I CANT DEAL

feels like a constant throbbing migraine, and my heart seems on be beating to the tune of
'OMG.. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO.. LUB DUB LUB DUBBBBBB' etc

panic panic breathe breathe

exams coming up and i dont want to study
i dont want to deal with insurance for my stolen stuff
i dont want to deal with my weight
i dont want to do three assignments and give public presentations
i dont want to pay phone bill
i dont want to pay speeding ticket
i want to run for committee in the position i want without giving a damn about anyone else
i want my friends to stop feuding

need new phone PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME FIND ONE ON THE GROUND.
want to go sailing but CANT FIT IT INTO MY SCHEDULE

want to quit my chicken job but i feel bad (WHAT ON EARTH POSSESSED ME TO WORK)
i went through a phase of trying to be indepedent, part of working class, humble and serene, like mother teresa you know? well, NO. i dont want anymore.

AND
I WANT MY NOSE TO GROW A FREAKING BRIDGE WITHOUT PLASTIC SURGERY.
not too hard right?
grow button nose, grow!
i want tall natural nose i can rub and blow and not worry about implant falling out.

IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK (k not the nose, i understand)
I WANT NICE NORMAL LIFE like the wakefield twins
i want to be like Jess and Elizabeth

oh, and lets not even go to my lovelife.
KA BOOM
yes that was that imploding upon itself.
stupid stupid stupid

omg
feel like that chick in Excorcist
when her head turns 360 degrees round and round and round

i miss my best friends.
who dont even CALL anymore.
Clare Lee Bri
WHERE ARE YOU?

UPDATE:

k thought i was finished venting but obviously not
URGH URGH

i want to go shopping and buy pretty things
i want to stop nosebleeding
i want to sleep more than 6 hours at a time
and i want to go to both the Fashion TV Model Awards and twilight sailing, which wont work cause they clash.
i want to watch final destination.

okay the last one is manageable.
randall, if you re reading this.
HINT.

just bought two bars of chocolate because i think i m having minor breakdown
and i m ignoring guilty pangs because goddammit, there are fatter people in this world than me.
and it wasnt even dark chocolate (wooo its FATTY CREAMY MILK CHOCOLATE)
Lee has heart attack, i have mental breakdown
omggggg

UPDATE 2: haha okay in a space of 20 minutes, i m in a brilliant mood
aside from the fact i think i just had a v v v big moodswing

i love chocolate (yes i finished the 2 bars)
and i just read Jason and Lee's blog
both of which were hiliarious

and i have my hands on a funny pic of a friend



okay its funny to me.

:)