i hate being unreliable and irresponsible.
and i dont use the 'hate' lightly.
i have to remember this feeling
so the next time i procrastinate, i ll feel this big kick on my rear end and be spurred on into action.
i also hate being so oversensitive
and that i cant let things go and obsess over it for ages
i mean seriously?
remember the poseur issue?
but maybe its cause i know jokes usually have a grain of truth.
(okay maybe a whole big fat lump of truth)
right?
i mean when you call someone fat
or stupid
arent they usually, even if you dont want to articulate it aloud?
unless its sarcasm of course
or maybe i m just feeling insecure
doesnt stop the hurt though
its like being slapped in the face when you dont expect it
and you have to hide it really really quickly so no one realises
feels a little bit like rejection
feels a little bit like having everyone laugh at you and you dont know why
feels a little bit dumb.
hell maybe i m just PMS-ing
i mean, i can take a joke right?
i dont want to be that girl who takes herself too seriously
(i dont know who reads my blog, but dont overthink things; no, its not you)
and to complete today's cosmic joke upon me
i saw S outside his apartment
with his new gf.
now that was a big kick to the gut
WHY WHY WHY wont he just leave the country
its been 8 years, you think i would have gotten over it
i see him and i wish i didnt exist anymore.
i see him and i remember why i dislike all men past, present and future
i see him and i want to pull all my hair out, adopt 50 cats, and die of an allergic reaction.
urgh. how emo.
so much for having tin man's cold metal heart.
i forgot who said this (becky bloomwood maybe?)
but sometimes you just have to recognise if a day is a total waste of make up.
plus i even used my new dior eyeliner
sigh
oh except for taboo and cranium
that was fun
i mean, try playing charades and having R try to act out 'babe magnet'
HAHAH
i would pay good money to have taken a video of it today
and showed xiang
so he could have, as he puts it, 'shaken the gay out'
heheh
not that R's gay
he's very straight
and very cute
and single, all you ladies out there.
:D
6 comments:
ya so emo!!
its okay phoonty, TIDE OVER THE SHIT TO FIND THE POT OF GOLD OVER THE RAINBOW :D
what wasn't worth your time then, isn't worth your time now either.
anyway, you dedicated a post to hvv, wow. hahaha i don't know if you saw the picture of me doing a 90 degree bow. my sister has been jacking me for it EVER SINCE. wtf. i really did look like an idiot.
oh btw is melbourne having a holiday? i tried to fax bri's stuff to monash today but the fax screwed up, tried to call the hotline,and i was placed on hold for 28 minutes before i was unceremoniously cut off. wtffff
why so emo phoonty my heart pain for you neh. ni bu yao so sad :(
btw you know i commented on your 25 things thing but then it didnt get through then after that the feeling wasnt there alr :(
and har nor i agree with chanz not worth time dat means not worth time hokay wont be last time not and then now suddenly become worth it hahaha ok i realise i just rephrased what clare said in an ahbeng way
eh have you tried MDMA
I LOVE YOU PHOONy!!!
.. plus.. i really want to know what the comment u deleted read now
LOL LOL
eeeeeee
babe magnet eh... sounds funny :D
mwa. can't wait to catch up with u soon hopefully
PHOON!!!! as if not update your blog for ages!!! i'm so bored! waiting for you guys to finish rem pros :(
xxxxxx
hey phoooooooooon :)
hahas i love your blog you know.
its really good :)
omg
had the shittest most annoying thing happen to me today.
walked into this pokies place and had my id checked like FUCKING A ZILLION TIMES >=\ GRRR
do i really look so young :(
oh dear.
whats my patient going to think!
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