rant

3 am introspective time!
feels so weird to be completely alone, without clare or lee or bri a short drive away
and convention is over, dad has left and i didnt end up buying a puppy

and as usual, as though by some divine law, i cant fall asleep
(its been fine the past month)
and surprise surprise i have to go into uni tomorrow morning.

and my diet has failed.
was so hungry after trying to fast i caved and had sweet corn bread and soup
i am sooo illogically angry with skinny people
well, skinny toned people. not the flabby ones.
if all the skinny toned people were a little fatter my world would be a better place.
it used to be so effortless.
man, age, thou art a heartless bitch.


it just occured to me the number of people i know who have been in the newspaper lately has tripled.
some absolutely amazing (clare's legs! qiu's lips!)
some, not so haha.
which is great for me because i can live vicariously through them
what with being stuck a poor student here in Melbourne.

some of the gossip is so eye popping i sometimes feel i m really missing out being here.
but i know if i were back in Singapore the social politics would drive me insane

although, right now, i am of the thought that being a perfect good little girl is absolutely boring, (not saying i m one btw)
and after talking about our past with my BFFs, i think i was really born quite naughty and now i hunger for the ultimate rock star lifestyle
the whole deal. the 3 c diet, eyeliner and memory loss.
like how when we were 12 we decided our hotel room was not up to standards
and proceeded to 'trash' it and set it alight.
alas, nothing can be more opposite than a staid old DENTIST.

what happened to me!!!
i m going to go nuts this weekend,
if not i just couldnt live with myself being so
so NICE.

i should go back to school and throw my pens at fellow classmates again
make them play catch with me
alternatively i can stand in front of the mirror and practice fake-smiling so i can pretend that everyone fascinates me and their stories are so interesting

i wish i could be more 2 faced. life would be so much simpler.
instead of walking away i can smile and nod angelically
manners are passe
i m sick of trying to always be polite and well brought up
next time, i m going to cuss like a bawdy sailor

oooh and i wish lee was here right now
i want to talk to you
i think i m having quarter life crisis



chanty, your legs are smokin'