ramblings

i cant sleep
and lee isnt replying my texts either so i ve resorted to blogging in the middle of the night
long story short, i had an epiphany.
a my-name-is-earl moment
where i realise why some things arent working out and why i cant move forward
its cause karma has come and bit me on the behind
oh yes.
i was a bad kid, so i have to sit and accept my punishment to build karma points till i break even.
sorta like recharging my life bar on streetfighter!


i hate exams
i wish i was one of those people who studied consistently
and had a great memory so they could just read something once and remember it
but noo
look, even failing that, i would have been able to accept the slow absorption of material
but i need something, some redeeming feature. like, superhuman dedication.
i want to CARE

granted, i do care a lot more this year
but at this point, at 4 30am in the morning 2 days away from my exam i dont give a hoot.
I NEED TO CARE MORE ABOUT WHETHER I AM GOING TO PASS
what with being self obsessed and a busy bee
i need to cram, starting tomorrow. PRONTO.

i ve cleaned my room pretty thoroughly though
and gave bags and bags away to the Deafness Foundation
its less cluttered now, though i was honestly shocked at the amount of sheer stuff
so with that in mind, i have a new resolution. i ve given up on ready to wear.
from now on, i m getting all my clothes tailored.
no more ill fitting garments!

i have also compiled a planned list of
things i m going to buy with my next allowance
not going to deviate and buy more crap.

for this month, if it isnt on my list, i m not buying it!
(not including dining out)

1. macro lens for camera
2. telephoto lens for camera (okay i m cheating with these, i know dad already bought them heheh)

3. horse riding gear
4. gym pass
5. train ticket
6. memento from Canberra ( how can i resist a little souvenior)
7. Green tea air diffuser (so awesome, my scent of the fortnight)
8. some crystals to bling my ipad (yes i know its a horrible,horrible disease)
9. over the knee boots/wellingtons
10. Box of Lindt macaroons which i m desperately craving for at the moment

of course, New Zealand doesnt count cause its a holiday.

hmmm.
this resolution doesnt seem the greatest

i just realised i finish exams on the 9th
flying to canberra on the 14th
then will be in New Zealand from when i m back.
i wont actually have time to break it and go shopping.
on the bright side?
i guess there's no way i wont keep to it now

sigh.

i wonder why people are so against plastic surgery
is it denial?

wow the random thoughts just keep coming
it just occurred me that according to Assimov's Laws of Robotics
i cant possibly be one.
there goes my chance of being Helen O'Loy
darn.


here's a good example of pictorial representation



my life in Singapore. Air conditioned, glitzy, click of heels on shiny tiles



in Melbourne: warm, colorful, hidden nooks and crannies

love them both. how to choose??


okay i m going to try to sleep, i doubt i m making sense any longer.
will figure things out later, what will be, will be!